How badly did you screw up? An argument where things got a little heated? Maybe some candy and flowers and a touch of groveling. A DUI arrest? Plan on a cruise later this year. I can recommend Princess Cruise lines, just saying. (P.S. big shout out to my Spokane DUI Attorney. He got my charges dropped! Just keepin it real)
Today I’m talking about something your wife probably knows a lot about. You probably don’t so that’s why I’m helping you out.
Here’s what you need to know:
- Yes, she does want them
- No, you can’t buy them…easily
The thing about Essential oils is that they are a major MLM product so lots of their friends already sell them and are talking about these oils on facebook. If you go to the store and try to buy her some, you will invariably get the wrong kind. Essential oils need to be high quality to work and apparently stores sell the wrong kind anyway.
Here’s a couple ways you can get her essential oils.
- Tell her you’d like her to try them. Give her the green light to spend anywhere from $50-$250. Don’t act surprised at how expensive they are. Tell her it seems like a great deal for the health benefits. Her friend’s all know this anyway. She’s already been looking at buying them so this will give her a good chance.
- If you know who she likes to buy them from, contact this friend who sells them and ask them how they do gift cards. Usually they make a handmade one for you to deliver to your wife for a shopping spree.
- Ask the person she buys from to buy her a set or some nice products of their choosing.
- There are a few oils that are not sold through friends like Plant Therapy, so you can just buy a gift certificate from them.
Recap: Do not buy oils from a store. Do not buy from anyone who sells them. Most likely your wife knows five friends who sell them so you should let her choose who to buy from. Do not choose the oils yourself. Be prepared to spend a lot of money.
Don’t do it.
So I recognize I live in Spokane, Washington which basically qualifies me as hick from the sticks. Take whatever I say and decide what you think. However, in this instance, do not pass Go, do not collect $200. The ONLY scenario where I would suggest that you buy lingerie is for YOUR birthday. That’s it. And even then, I’d go with a giftcard. What if she doesn’t like the style or color you bought? Even worse, what if it’s too small?! This is dangerous territory so stay far away my friends.
According to a recent survey of women, here’s why buying lingerie is bad. These are actual responses.
- You bought it, you wear it
- If by lingerie you mean wine…
- This is a present for you not me
- How long were you in there shopping, perv?
- I’d rather spend the money on shoes
- Only if I can buy something for you to wear
- There better be a gift-receipt
There you have it guys. Proceed with caution…straight to the candy and roses section.
Is your new wife’s birthday coming up? First Valentine’s Day (a fake holiday I know… don’t tell my wife) coming up? First Anniversary?
Dude, you gotta get a gift for her. Don’t panic, it will be OK. I’m here for you. And so is Google…
Seriously, I’ll never be smarter than my smartphone so use it. It’s OK to start off with a little Google search. Every anniversary has a particular gift that goes along with it. First anniversary is a gift of paper- think love note not inkjet refills. Second is cotton, third is leather. I know, sounds stupid but someone came up with these a long time ago and so we’re stuck with them. Fortunately, there are also some modern options (first year=clocks, 2nd year=china). Just Google “anniversary gifts by year” and you can see the full list.
Google is also full of great ideas for any other special occasion. The power of the internet in your pocket. Use it.
Now, here’s some actual advice I can give you.
Don’t wait till the last minute, dummy. Help yourself out and start thinking about these things at least a couple weeks in advance, preferably a month or more depending on how important of an occasion is coming up. Put a reminder in your calendar for at least one month BEFORE any gift giving occasion so you have time to plan for it. Right now, go do it, then come back.
Trust me, you’ll be glad you did that.
Next step is to just start thinking about what she might want. She’ll probably start dropping hints in advance if you’re in tune to them. Don’t focus too much on what she NEEDS, but on what she WANTS. This is a gift for her to enjoy, not a tool for her to help others (you) with. Remember that, something to benefit her and only her.
Write down some ideas that you come up with now and start mulling them over. Get creative. Think outside the box. Keep writing your ideas down as they come to you. Something will rise to the top. Keep researching on the internet to refine your idea.
I know this sounds tough but it will get easier with practice. Eventually you’ll be a pro. Maybe you won’t even need to use Google!